


The Reunion You Imagined

by hops



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Gen, Second Person, Story and Song, Thrall - Freeform, is this a character study? not really but it's something, spoilers for episode 67
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-17
Updated: 2017-07-17
Packaged: 2018-12-03 05:28:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,361
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11525505
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hops/pseuds/hops
Summary: As her freshly inoculated family faces her, Lucretia faces the Thrall.(Spoilers for ep 67)





	The Reunion You Imagined

**Author's Note:**

> So I went into this looking for Luc and Taako angst and somehow wound up with Thrall!Lucretia. I'm definitely not the first to tackle this subject- major kudos to the other fics I've read who inspired the little italicized voice in her ear.  
> Again with the Lucretia musing, this is not my usual style, but I'm glad to be branching out into something a little more experimental. Let me know what ya think!  
> Note: All dialogue in this one is 100% from the episode-gotta give cred where it's due ofc

It’s not the reunion you imagined. 

It’s not the tearful, understanding looks. It’s not the "thank the gods!" and cries of relief, or the silent tears and hugs, or even the "what were you thinking?" That you daydreamed about. But now you're all back together...  

 _No, not all._   

Taako has never looked so… despondent. The more memory that returns to him, the more his eyes fill with confusion, then grief, then… rage.  

He’s standing there with the umbrastaff—Lup’s staff—clutched in his hands. And he points it at you.  

“Ten.”  

It's like seeing a ghost in Taako's shadow.  

You see Lup, dropping the mic on the first day, the press conference. Lup, giving her speech to the rest of the crew. Lup, laughing on the beach. Lup, playing her song at the conservatory with Barry, watching as they run up the hill together. Lup, with her brother. Inseparable. Every second, inseparable.  

Back soon, she'd promised.  

 _Don't you want her back?_  

“Nine.” 

You’re staring at Taako, saying nothing.  _What can you say?_ _It's not your fault. What can you say?_ He’s the spitting image of his sister, especially now in his anger, fiery and righteous. But you still try: 

It stammers out of you. “T-Taako I know you’re upset—”  

“Eight.”  

Taako, surfing at the beach. Taako, cooking for you all, a million different meals that made him glow with pride. Taako, lounging in his seat at the conservatory, his students hanging on every one of his "borrowed" words; it always made you smile and roll your eyes. Taako and his sister, thick as thieves, inseperable. Every single second. Inseperable.  

 _Don't you want him back?_  

Your oldest friends. Your family. One hundred years spent with them and only them, loving them, holding onto them with all your strength.  _Everything you did, you did for them._  

“Listen—”  

“Seven.”  

You see Taako in the kitchen, late into the middle of a night, decades ago. You’re crying. He’s making you cookies: white chocolate and conjured macadamia nut. As you eat them together, he tells a joke. You laugh for the first time in days.  

“Please, just—listen to me, please—" you plead. His eyes are cold.  

All kindness has left him.  

 _Don't you want it back?_  

“Six.”  

Magnus, at Taako’s side, draws  his flaming sword. Your heart stops, then breaks clean in half.  

You see Magnus, with that damn black eye. Magnus, defending you in that seedy bar over a hundred years ago, young, dumb, looking for a fight. Magnus, jumping out and scaring you on the beach, both of you dissolving into laughter. Magnus, in the caves at the Legato conservatory, whittling ducks while Fisher, just a baby, floats between you.  

It’s not the reunion you imagined.  

 _Don't you want him back?_  

“Five.”  

Merle stammers beside the two of them “What the hell are you  _doing?”_  

Merle, at the pulpit at Fungston. Merle, making gifts on the beach for everyone but himself. Merle, always dancing. Merle, always checking on you, always keeping your chin up on days that you couldn’t anymore.  

 _Don't you want him back?_  

Your head aches, ears ringing. “Just—just please, stop—” you say. You clutch to your staff.  _You did this for them._ _You have to f_ _inish it._  

“Four.” 

Magnus speaks again, glaring. “The chance to explain yourself was about a dozen memories ago.” You can’t look him in the eye. You expected Taako’s anger but… Magnus, who always believed in you. Magnus, your confidante, your best friend. 

 _Don't you want him back?_  

His words stuck with you when this felt wrong.  _He said, he said, he_ ** _said_**   _that if the relics didn’t work, we could try the shield. Remember?_ ** _Doesn’t he remember?_**  

Taako speaks from behind the staff. “Yeah, and about seven seconds ago, I’m just doing this countdown. You fucking took  _everything_ from me." His words are accusatory, punctuated by the crack in his voice.  

You know he’s right. 

But— 

 _But doesn’t he know? Doesn’t he know that to fix what_ ** _they_** _did, you lost everything too?_ _They didn’t listen._ _They didn’t listen, and so for ten years you were alone. So lonely._  

 _So lonely._  

 _Nobody ever listened to you, don’t you remember? You did this for them. They had their normal lives and you never_ ** _got that Lucretia, don’t you remember_** ** _? You're fixing what they did._**  

For just a fraction of a moment, you are acutely aware that this is the thrall.  

Then, you open your mouth, and that awareness leaves you once more.  

"I know that things went wrong, I know I shouldn't have kept you all in the dark for as long as I did, I swear— I had no idea how  _arduous_ a task this was going to be. I know I have a lot to atone for, but please just— _I'm begging you—let me finish this, and then we can talk about it."_   

The words leave you before you can even think them. You harbor the bitterness, the anger, but its presence is still there in your words.  _They don't understand. They'll never listen._  

Taako's silence deafens the room.  

"Fine."  

Other people are talking. Merle, Magnus. You don't hear them now.  _It doesn't matter. Finish this, and maybe they'll take you back. You have nothing if they don't listen to you and the world ends, Lucy._  

It's so soothing to hear that name. Nobody has called you that in so long.  

"It's not too late, I can still keep them out-"  

"Lucretia," Barry cuts you off and, on reflex, your blood boils. "You can't do this, we told you why the barrier's not gonna work."  

 _He's wrong. He was wrong, and he still is. He's angry that his plan wound up with_ _Lup_ _missing and the world destroyed. He's wrong._  

"It's gonna sever every bond this world has ever had."  

 _He's wrong. He's wrong. He's wrong._  

 _"_ Please, I know why you did what you did, but you can't do this."  

 _You can. You can do this. You can still save them._  

 _Don't you want your family back?_  

Taako speaks again, flat and disconnected. "You know, honestly? Do whatever you want. I don't care anymore." You barely recognize him now, in light of who he was, back in those red uniforms. You want him back. So, so badly, you want him back.  

"Taako, please, just trust me." You're speaking again, and your sentences are running away from you.  _Remind them. Remind them that this is their fault._ "What we did to this world, you know it wasn't right. We made a promise almost a hundred years ago--"  

Magnus interjects yet again. It sends you reeling.  _See? See how they never listen to you? Once you save them, once you prove them wrong, they'll listen. And they'll love you again._ Desperately, you want him back. 

"Lucretia, do you realize—Taako just remembered that he lost his sister. This isn't the time for you to explain yourself." 

He turns to Taako, but your ears are ringing now. You're clutching the staff tighter, with both hands, like it's the only thing you have left. Because it is.  

Taako is speaking. You don't hear. The silvery roar in your ears is all-consuming.  

You speak over them, and for once, you're the one to cut them off. You hold the staff tight.  "This is going to be hard to hear, but remember, almost a century ago, that Lup made us promise that we would never again put a world in danger just to thwart the Hunger's plans and that is exactly— ** _exactly_** _what we did to this world and—and that was why I took steps to fix it. What makes you think she wasn't doing the_ ** _exact same thing when she disappeared?_** _"_  

The spell channels through you and into the staff.  _This is the right thing. You've spent ten years working towards doing the right thing. Just hold on a little longer, and in the end, they'll see. Trust yourself, Lucretia._  

 _Don't you want your family back?_  

The room is silent again. You continue with the spell. With your plan. 

It's not the reunion you imagined.  _But we'll make it so, when we save the world._  


End file.
